Are Your Kids Being Honest?
One of the most important things in our family is our value system. As a family we often talk about what is important to us and why. One of these values is that I promote honesty above all else and the consequences are never as severe for children who own up to something.
Unfortunately one of my sons yesterday decided to be dishonest with me and I was not impressed. He tried to tell me that his school teacher was responsible for him missing the bus to sports.
On phoning his teacher I found out the whole story. Yes, he was kept in at lunch time for a few minutes but he still had time to catch the bus to sports. He had walked up to the bus with a mate and then decided that he would rather go to basketball instead of soccer. So he had taken off without even telling a teacher where he was going.
I felt disappointed that after all my good teaching and promoting of honesty as a core family value, Sam would tell a blatant lie in order to get out of trouble. why had he tried to point the finger at someone else and not done the right thing?
Now here’s the thing: we can’t control our kids. All we can control is our reactions to what goes on. So this afternoon I shall have a chat with Sam about how he should have simply told me the truth and it would have been much better for him. He needs to think about what he can do differently next time to change the outcome.
I must help Sam realize that he needs to be more responsible for his actions. He needs to learn not to blame other people when in fact it wasn’t anyone else’s fault at all. If I can help him realize that then I have done a good thing.
The end result is that Sam will be getting a consequence. I want to show him that he made the wrong choice. I might ban him from the computer for a day or two, just long enough for him to be annoyed and perhaps think about why he was banned. I want him to feel motivated to change his actions the next time and learn from this incident.
As parents we need to decide what core family values we will base our family upon. Talk to your kids about this. Your kids will embrace family values if they help to choose them. And you can be sure that your kids will thank you later on in life.