Kids And Dawdling
Do you ever wonder what you have done wrong when your child does something wrong? Well, this morning I couldn’t get my daughter motivated to get ready for school. She just stayed in her bedroom and pottered around and I was getting quite concerned about the time.
At just before 8am I went into her room and started to get firm with her by saying, “we are leaving for school in fifteen minutes from now”. Then I walked away and left her to get herself organized as she knows how to do.
Finally at about 8.15am she emerged, and all of a sudden was rushing around furiously trying to be ready on time. But I stuck to my guns. I said to her, “It’s a pity you won’t have time to have breakfast now”, and went to the car. Becky followed, shoes and socks in her hand as they hadn’t been put on yet.
I drove Becky to school and she was pretty quiet in the car. Becky knew that she had done the wrong thing by trying to test the boundaries. And if she tries that again she will get the same result. I will not waver in my boundaries for her sake.
What Becky had been doing was trying to exert some control over me by making me wait for her. I have no idea why this happened. But now Becky knows that if she tries that again the result will be the same - missing out on breakfast. This is a valuable lesson for any child to learn.
I know this seems harsh but I had to go to work this morning and I could not have Becky holding me up. She also has a responsibility to the school to arrive on time. And when she is late I leave it up to the school to give her a consequence.
Here’s the thing: as adults we need to resist the urge to keep on saving our children in every situation. Kids need to learn through their mistakes. If I had made Becky her breakfast she would learn dependence upon mum to rescue her. However I chose to help her learn a valuable lesson. As a parent I so wanted to help her out but knew that would not teach her anything.
Becky had to go hungry until morning tea break to realize that the world doesn’t revolve around her. And I do hope that she chooses to learn a valuable lesson here. It would be hard for me to let that happen again in our house however kids need an opportunity to learn from their mistakes.
I understand that as parents we like to rescue your kids but we are doing them a disservice if we continually rescue them from themselves. Let your child experience the consequences of their actions today and they will be a better person for it tomorrow.