Todays Parents Now

I was very fortunate in that my parents and my brothers and sisters and I had a great family upbringing. There wasn’t much money but we had lots of fun. We spent lots of fun time together. We camped, hunted, fished, played board games, had cooking and reading weekends and worked together in the vegetable garden. One thing that impressed me was the way my parents related to each other with warmth and affection.

I want to model on my parents and be a great dad for my kids. My friends don’t have kids yet- I have 2 and a new baby expected soon. I really want to be the best dad I can be! I know that I need to spend time with them, communicate and help them to be responsible. Day to day working and living doesn’t seem to allow time for me to lavish attention on my wife and kids too.

Our new baby will be joining us soon and I want to make sure that I provide appropriate support for my wife. Despite the fact that we already have two children and I have been helpful, I think I can be a much better dad, father and husband. What I needed is some helpful tips to be a better dad.

Every day I see happy kids and happy dads. In the stores we are bombarded with magazines that display photos of celebrity dads and their kids. How do they do the best job they can? They listen, watch others, read and do things that show their family they love and cherish them.

It doesn’t take much to keep your wife happy. Do unexpected things like bringing home some roses, having a romantic night out or bringing dinner home. Think of ways you can help your family and your partner without being asked, for example, get home early and supervise the children’s homework. You have to think of ways you can be effective as a father.

Children love to spend time with their father. Make a special date with them to take them to the park and just have fun together. Get up early Sunday morning while their mother is sleeping and take them out for a long walk. You and the children make breakfast for mum in bed.

If you are going to try to improve yourself and be a great dad, this has to be a permanent arrangement. You can’t turn on super dad behavior for a week and then forget all about it. You must maintain your new role. Kids get very upset and disappointed when they suddenly find a new and exciting father turns back into the old one.

The way to avoid this unhappy situation is to work out what you can manage and maintain your commitment. Set up 3 columns on a notepad- label one Plus, the second Minus and the third Interesting ( ,-, I). This is a strategy from Edward De Bono. As you read and talk with others, note down anything that you think will work in the Plus column, things that definitely won’t work for you in the Minus column, and those things that may or may not be for you in the Interesting column. Next step is to add some ideas of your own - just jot down everything that comes into your head.

Work through your planned list carefully and don’t try to do everything at once. When you do try a new strategy, find out if the family appreciates what you have done. You’ll be pleasantly surprised when you notice how much more positive they are about you. More importantly, you’ll know that you’re doing your job well and that you’re working hard to be a better dad.