Todays Parents Now

Sometimes I feel like I am the only one in the world with this problem. But I’m sure there are many others who experience the same thing as I do. Dynamics change between families and I guess having four kids makes it tough for me. But I would like to share some of my experiences with other parents in the hope that I might help a few.

I have an ongoing difficulty with my 10 year old daughter, Rebekah. It doesn’t matter what time she wakes up in the morning, she seems to end up pottering around and then being late to school on a regular basis.

The most important thing to do when you have a child like this is to find out if they are being bullied at school. Once you rule that out then you can concentrate on fixing the problem.

Start off with something positive. Perhaps a sticker chart might be a good idea? Another suggestion could be a special treat at afternoon tea time. Whatever you choose you need to make sure that the reward is immediate to begin with. As your child gets established into a routine the rewards can get further apart.

Always exhaust all possibilties before turning to look at the negative. Positive reinforcement always works much better if you can manage it. Well it would be nice if I could practice what I preach but alas, this morning I had to go for a negative consequence. On account of Becky throwing a tantrum this morning I felt that I had to act to help her change her behavior.

Becky has left for school now, about ten minutes late, and I am left to decide what consequence will help her to learn a lesson. Remember that a consequence should be given in order to help a child learn that it is simply not worth it. I am thinking of removing a few things from her room to go up into my top cupboard: some rather grown up earrings that Beck should not be wearing if she is still throwing tantrums plus a few grown up items of clothing more suitable for an older, more mature child.

It is important to make the crime match the punishment as closely as possible. I don’t know if I have got it exactly right today. But I figure that if a child of mine is still throwing a tantrum at age ten, perhaps she should not be wearing grown up clothes.

I shall have a chat to Beck after school today and explain my reasons behind my actions. The good thing is that I will give her a chance to earn her clothes and jewellery back very quickly. If she can show me three days getting off to school on time again I will quickly produce her favorite earrings again. I want to show her that the quality of her life is directly related to the decisions that she makes.